


The Post-War BP

by jaerie



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alpha Harry, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Anal Sex, Breeding, Butt Plugs, Clinical sex, Contracts, Drug-Induced Sex, First Time, Forced Ejaculation, Forced Sex, Government Conspiracy, Government Experimentation, Insemination, Knotting, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Medical Examination, Medical Procedures, Micropenis, Mildly Dubious Consent, Mpreg, Mpreg Louis, Omega Louis, Post-War, Pregnancy, Self-Lubrication, Small Penis, Strangers, Synthetic Hormones, kind of?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-10-17 12:11:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17560139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaerie/pseuds/jaerie
Summary: The eight year war has left the country's birthrate severely stunted with a lack of virile alphas left to bring it back up.  To ensure the survival of the country, the government opens The Breeding Program where young omegas can apply to carry an alpha's child in exchange for benefits.  Louis' family is struggling and the BP is one of the only ways to secure a roof over their heads.  Harry was drafted at the age of eighteen and spent six years of his life defending a country he doesn't recognize when he returns home.  The government made the bed but it's Harry that has to lie in it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i initially kept this anon so that someone would find it as a surprise. but that doesn't matter anymore so here it is unanon! i will post the conclusion by the end of the week. **heed the tags** and enjoy!
> 
>  
> 
> **I hate that this has to be said but here we go. I do not allow any of my works to be translated or reposted to any platform. This includes, but is not limited to, Wattpad, Tumblr, other AO3 accounts. Reposting and “giving credit” is not an authorized use of my content. Any translations or reposted material will be reported immediately.**

 

 

 

 

Louis was young enough that he didn’t recall war times the same way his parents and the other adults in his country did.  He had been only six when the war began. Some memories lingered of lavish meals and brightly coloured candy and treats, of fancy wrapped presents and many pairs of new shoes.  Since the war had lasted until just a month after his fourteenth birthday, Louis had grown up in the lean times of economic stress. He often heard stories, but mainly it was the only way of life he knew.  

The fighting had lasted for nearly eight long years.  Louis along with the rest of the neighborhood had lost his dad, his uncles, his cousins.  Every able bodied alpha past the age of seventeen had been drafted up and sent into combat with little training and absolutely no choice.  

After several years the birthrate had stalled.  Only the betas left to man the factories were around to reproduce.  Since betas were unable to produce alpha offspring, the number of alphas in the country dwindled to almost nothing.  By the end of the war, they were all but extinct. 

A year after the war had ended, the government proposed a plan to both increase the alpha birthrate and take care of the veterans that returned with no jobs since the economy had also nearly come to a halt.  A stimulus package, they had called it, and thus the Breeding Program had begun. 

Young omegas of childbearing age were allowed to apply to the BP once they had turned eighteen.  If their application was accepted and the results of their medical exams were approved, the omegas would be given a stipend for living expenses over the course of each pregnancy and food and healthcare would be provided by the government for each child of the program until the age of ten.  The alphas– a majority of them veterans– were also compensated and housed in exchange for fathering children conceived through the program.

Becoming part of the PB hadn’t been part of Louis’ life plan.  Even with the lack of alphas growing up, he still imagined himself meeting and falling in love with an alpha that he would eventually bond and raise a family with from the time he presented as omega.  All of the alphas he knew were of old age and being with a grandpa was not part of his life plan either. 

In the end, Louis didn’t apply to the PB for himself.  He saw his mother struggling to make ends meet with his younger siblings and knew the BP would at least assure that they had a roof over their heads.  

The day after he turned eighteen, Louis walked down to the local BP office and filed out his application with one of the social workers.  It had been weeks before he was contacted and he’d nearly forgotten it had even happened. His initial application had been approved. Then came the physical exam, the blood tests, the ultrasounds.  Louis wondered if many omegas at all were accepted into the program with how thoroughly they vetted the applicants. There had been many births since the start of the program, Louis had seen the children with his own eyes, so there had to be enough that had already made it through.  

The process had been intense but now today was the day.  

There was a mix of excitement and dread fluttering in his stomach as he walked towards the breeding center in the middle of town.  It looked like a small hospital from the outside. Louis had only been to the clinic on the first floor when he’d had his examinations and he wondered what part of the building he would be taken to for the actual procedure.  

His social worker met him at reception and they first stopped at her office for Louis to sign the paperwork.  

“By signing this document, you acknowledge and consent to enter the Official Government Breeding Program.  You acknowledge the risks associated with unbonded pregnancy and understand the government’s limited responsibility if complications should arise.  You acknowledge that in the event that you are unable to conceive, you will not be eligible for any further stipends or other BP payouts. You agree to appear for all scheduled breedings and appointments or your participation in the program is void.”  

It continued and sounded like so much.  Louis still signed with a shaky hand and nodded. 

“Okay!  You’re all set then.  I’ll take you to the nursing station and they will take you to your examination and then prep before the procedure.”  

Louis nodded and followed her down the hall.  He was handed off to a nurse who took him to one of the rooms and handed him a flimsy gown.  This part was routine and he took his time neatly folding his clothing on one of the chairs after tying the gown together.  He perched on the edge of the exam table with stirrups for this legs and stared down at his socked feet while he waited for the nurse to return.  

A doctor accompanied the nurse to give him a quick exam and gave the all clear for the procedure to take place.  Louis stared at the ceiling the entire time and concentrated on calming his nerves. 

The nurse was nice but quiet as she folded back his gown to expose everything up to just below his belly button.  He appreciated that this room seemed to be kept warmer than some of the others but it didn’t stop him from feeling embarrassed about his nakedness in front of a stranger.  He wondered how many omegas she prepped per day, her routine seeming well practiced. 

She first made sure Louis didn’t need the restroom before strapping his shins in place and clicking the stirrups a bit wider so she could easily stand between his legs.  She took out a few special disinfecting cloths and began to wipe down his inner thighs first. He blushed when she got down to the rest of him, feeling like he was having his diaper changed as she paid special attention to his crack and hole.  She finished with thoroughly wiping his small omega cock which left him shivering with the cold left behind. 

“I’m now going to insert the hormone plug that will help your body get ready to accept a pregnancy.  The hormones will mimic heat in your body but very few omegas experience full heat symptoms though you may run a low grade fever over the next twenty-four hours.  This stays in for about twenty minutes for your body to absorb the hormones and then your breeding specialist will be in for the procedure. Any questions?” 

Louis just shook his head, his nerves making him unable to speak.  He watched as the nurse picked up the slender plug encased in its plastic packaging in her gloved hand and ripped open the seal.  It seemed to have some type of sticky wet coating on it that was cold when she brought it down to his hole a moment later. 

It wasn’t thick but it was long, his body clenching around it as the nurse slid it in.  There was a notch at the bottom that was big enough that his own muscles held it in place once it was fully inserted, the base resting snuggly along his crack.  

The nurse disposed of the trash and then pulled her gloves off, making sure everything was in place for the procedure.  

“Your breeding specialist will be in shortly for the insemination,” she let him know before leaving him in the room alone.  

He clenched down on the plug experimentally and wondered if he should have prepared himself for something like this.  He usually didn’t push anything inside himself unless he was in heat and the intrusion felt strange. It felt especially strange since it had been such a clinical process done by someone he didn’t know.   

It didn’t take long for him to start feeling the effects of the hormone laced plug.  His body started to produce slick and he could feel the dull ache in the pit of his stomach that usually came in the hours before his heat hit.  He clung to the nurse’s word that it was rare for omegas to go into full blown heat and hoped he wasn’t one of the few. 

He could feel the paper covering the exam table under him growing wet from his slick and hoped that was normal in this process.  It would be embarrassing if his body was acting different than others. 

The twenty minutes stretched on like an eternity and then seemed like not enough time to prepare himself once there came a knock on the door.  It clicked open and a very handsome alpha stuck his head in to check before closing the door behind him. Louis’ nostrils flared at the strong alpha scent he’d never experienced in his life and wondered if the world was full of such scents before the war had claimed the country’s alphas.  He wasn’t sure he would have been able to cope. 

“I’m Harry and I’ll be your breeding specialist today.” The alpha extended a hand to shake Louis’ like he wasn’t naked and exposed from the waist down.  Louis blushed. Harry was clothed in what looked like comfortable scrubs under a long white lab coat with pockets that was embroidered with the BP logo and left unbuttoned.  

Louis let himself look at the alpha while he busied himself with pulling on a pair of blue exam gloves.  He wondered if there were many alphas working in the facility that performed the actual procedure or if this alpha just had a medical background.  Louis would guess Harry was no older than around thirty and couldn’t fathom that he’d been able to get a medical degree in the short time since the war had ended.  

It made Louis a little more self-conscious that it would actually be an alpha inseminating him but he supposed it would be a little awkward any way it happened.  

“Okay, let’s see how the hormone plug is coming along.”  

Louis had to stare up at the ceiling and then close his eyes all together once the alpha started wiggling the plug around.  It felt good and the gush of slick that came out of him was directly related to the alpha scent that had already taken over the room.  He had to clench his fists at his side and squeeze his eyes closed to keep himself from letting out any embarrassing moans. 

“Good, looks like it has done its job, nice slick production.”  

Louis bit his lip.  It would be over soon and then he would never have to see this alpha again or worry about acting like a needy omega at his first contact with an alpha that wasn’t eighty years old.  

He couldn’t help but let out a small gasp when the plug was pulled free but he kept his eyes closed.  He didn’t want to see what it looked like coated with his slick in the alpha’s hand. There was movement and the sound of velcro and Louis decided he didn’t want to look at how this procedure was executed.  He had seen a movie joking about two beta lesbians doing this with a turkey baster but he was sure the real thing happened with more needles than he was prepared to look at. 

“Are you ready to begin?” Harry’s deep voice asked and Louis nodded.  He was never going to be fully prepared for the pain he was sure to come, even just a pin prick.  

“Okay you’re going to feel some pressure and then a stretch.” 

He felt Harry’s gloved hand on his bare thigh and then something warm against his opening.  It started to push into him without hesitation and the feeling was not what he expected. His eyes flew open to see Harry feeding his bare alpha cock into his body and was stunned at this new development.  It didn’t hurt but he did feel uncomfortably full as the breeding specialist pushed until the entire length was inside. It was a feeling his body hadn’t been expecting. 

“Is this— are you supposed to do it this way?” Louis gaped, still staring at where their bodies were connected.  

“It’s difficult to keep alpha sperm vital outside of the body.  It’s cheaper and more efficient to inseminate directly from the source.”

Louis was taking his first alpha with his feet up in stirrups on an exam table.  There was nothing special or passionate about it at all. He stared at the specially made pants Harry was wearing that opened in a triangle to easily free his cock  without having to fully undress. He wondered how many other omegas the alpha had inseminated that day and if it had been the same as it was with Louis right then. Did the alpha enjoy it?  

Harry was making small motions with his hips and the drag felt so good deep within him.  He was shocked to find his tiny omega cock standing stiff between his legs and his fingers twitched to touch such an infrequent occurrence.  It wasn’t common for omegas to experience erections on a regular basis, their cocks not built for reproductive purposes. Louis himself had only had one a few times, the little thing chubbed up proudly at barely two inches no doubt a result of the hormones that had absorbed into his system. 

“Go ahead and touch it,” Harry said.  He must have seen Louis’ need. “The odds of conceiving are better of the omega has an orgasm.”  

That was all the encouragement Louis needed, his hand rushing to take his little cock in his hand.  He began to stroke it between his thumb and middle finger, the combination of movements making all of his nerves on high alert.  

“I’m going to knot you,” Harry told him in a barely controlled tone and Louis hadn’t even thought about that part of it.  Of course the alpha would have to knot him or his body would never accept the sperm into his womb. The knot was what triggered the response to open for his cervix for reception in a natural setting.  

Louis couldn’t help but moan when he felt it start to expand, his little cock twitching between his fingers in a dry orgasm that rocked his entire body.  He could feel the cramp and ache as the pheromones prompted his cervix to dilate.

Harry’s knot was big and kept them locked together long after Louis started to come down from his high.  The scent of alpha arousal still made him feel pleasantly light headed and he shut his eyes for a few minutes and concentrated on the feel of the alpha pulsing inside him.  He couldn’t feel the spurts Harry was filling him with but could feel the contraction of muscle making his dick jump every time his body pushed more out. It felt so intimate.  

He began to wonder about Harry as they stayed tied, Harry standing with his gloved hands holding Louis’ hips while he stared out the parted blinds of the window.  

“Were you in the war?” Louis asked when he couldn’t bear the silence anymore.  

Harry’s jaw set and a coldness washed over his face for a few seconds.  He looked down at Louis once he had schooled his features and then nodded.  

Louis got the impression that small talk while knotted was not protocol and kept his mouth shut until Harry’s knot started to deflate.  

A shorter plug was inserted into him directly after Harry pulled out and it didn’t feel like enough after having so much stretch him open for so long.  He caught a glimpse of Harry’s softening dick and was glad he had taken a look. It made it seem more real to see it hanging there before it had gone back to normal.  

Harry tucked himself back into his velcro pants and then disposed of his gloves before washing his hands.  

“The nurse will be in to help you clean up,” Harry said and then he was gone.  

The nurse came in and again wiped Louis off like he wasn’t capable of doing that himself.  She checked the positioning of the plug and told him he would be able to remove it in two hours.  Louis nodded and stretched his legs when he was finally allowed to stand up. The plug shifted as a constant reminded of his first alpha knot each time he moved.  

“You will return every Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning for an examination and, if you haven’t yet caught, another insemination.  Harry will be your breeding specialist throughout your time with the BP. Many omegas take a while to catch when it’s their first time so please don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t happen right away.  It sometimes takes a few weeks for your body to get used to and open up to the synthetic hormones. You may get dressed now and see yourself out. Stop at reception for your bag of instructions and medications and we will see you back on Wednesday morning!”  

The nurse was chipper and Louis just nodded along.  He pulled on his clothes and tried not to walk funny down the hallway with the plug nestled between his cheeks.  He picked up his bag on the way out along with his first check and set off for home with his head so full of emotions that it was easier just to turn it off while he walked.  He’d sort himself out in the comfort of his own home. Being knocked up by a strange alpha was bringing with it more confusion than he had anticipated. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Louis stood in front of the mirror naked after his shower and stared at his belly from multiple angles.  He can’t help but feel a little disappointed that it doesn’t look any different. Sliding his hand down, he palms his little dick, the whole thing hidden behind his hand.  The pills they had given him made him feel hornier than he usually was and his little omega cock was constantly calling out for attention. 

It was a weird shift for Louis.  Apart from his heats, Louis rarely had the urge to touch himself or attempt to get off.  It just wasn’t something his body usually cared about. Since his first breeding, it was constantly on his mind and his little cock was in a constant state of firmness that was foreign to Louis.  Fabrics felt so nice against it and he found himself rocking subtly in his chair at dinner just to feel the friction of his panties against the tip. 

It made him wonder if he was pregnant already.  Logically, it was probably just a combination of things from the medication to losing his virginity.  Even the BP didn’t expect him to be pregnant already. From the sounds of it, catching the first time was unusual.  

Two full days had passed since his first attempt and his next was that same morning.  He got dressed in clothes that would be easy to remove and made his way down to the the DP center.  His social worker wasn’t waiting for him this time so he took it upon himself to find his way to the nurses station on the first breeding room level.  

Luckily, he had guessed correctly and was led back to the room assigned to him.  He changed out of his clothes and sat on the table quietly until a doctor came in with his nurse.  It was a different nurse than before and Louis wasn’t sure if he was relieved or anxious about that.  

The doctor prompted him to put his feet up in the stirrups and didn’t warn Louis before the cold metal speculum slid into him and spread him open.  It was always the most uncomfortable part, the doctor’s face way too close to his most intimate areas. The nurse taking a blood sample distracted him just a little while the doctor pressed around on his abdomen and above his cock.  

The doctor told him that everything looked alright and they both left with his blood sample.  

It wasn’t long before the nurse returned with the news that Louis wasn’t yet pregnant and then pulled another hormone plug out of its package.  At least Louis was ready for the feeling this time as she used the sanitizing cloths and then slid the plug into him, already slicking up around the intrusion.  

“Your breeding specialist will be in shortly,” the nurse told him before closing the door and again Louis was left to wait.  

The hormones were working faster this time, probably from all the other drugs they had started pumping him with.  Slick began to collect almost immediately and he felt so wet he worried the plug would slide right out. 

There was a small wave of relief when the knock came on the door and it was Harry’s face that peeked in.  Louis had been told he’d have the same breeding specialist but it was nice to have that confirmed. It made him feel just slightly more comfortable as did the familiar alpha scent that quickly filled the room. 

Harry seemed a bit more subdued than he had been on Monday.  He skipped the introduction and went straight for the gloves, pulling them on as he stood between Louis’ elevated feet.  

He took hold of the base of the plug and teased it in and out of Louis’ hole a few times.  Louis watched as the alpha watched his slick gather and gripped the sides of the table in anticipation.  

Louis kept his eyes open this time.  Harry pulled the plug out and set it aside and then moved to pull the velcroed flap of his pants open.  Louis had never seen an alpha cock before and his mouth went dry when it was finally visible. He had the urge to touch it but not the courage so he bit his lip and waited for what he knew was coming.  

Harry didn’t ask if he was ready this time nor did he explain what to expect.  The warm head of his cock pressed against Louis’ hole without announcement and then was sliding inside.  It felt better than the first time now that Louis had already experienced it and he swallowed back a small whimper as he was stretched.  

Once he was all the way inside, Louis couldn’t resist placing a hand on his belly.  He swore he could feel how deep the alpha was and pressed down against the spot. Harry’s face shifted, breaking the usually schooled expression which made Louis feel special.   

The thrusts started small but deep, the sound of Louis’ slick loud in the silent room.  Just as before, Louis’ little cock stiffened. He slid his hand down and rubbed it under his palm, everything feeling extra sensitive from the hormone treatments.  He came quickly with the alpha nudging in deep and used the wetness from his release to ease the slide of his hand. 

The alpha bit his lip and grunted, watching Louis touch himself while his thrusts became harder.  Louis saw the expression on his face before he felt Harry’s knot expanding, one last slam in before it locked them together.  Louis came again and felt weak, his body responding to the alpha’s seed better than it had the first time. He could feel himself opening up to accept the deposit.  He moaned at the warmth of it.

“Is it always like this?” Louis asked once his body started to calm.  

Harry’s jaw tightened the way it had the last time.  “I don’t think we’re supposed to talk.” 

“Oh,” Louis said, looking down while he fidgeted with his fingers, folding them across his belly.    

“But it’s always a little bit different.”  

Harry stared blankly across the room again and Louis wished he hadn’t been the cause of that expression.  His hands were warm on Louis’ thighs and his fingers gripped almost imperceptibly while lost in thought. Louis wanted to reach out and take them into his but he held himself back.  

Instead he distracted himself from the tone of the room by thinking about why he was even there.  There was a chance that at that very moment a baby was being conceived inside of him. He spread his fingers out over his belly and imagined what it would be like to be rounded with child.  It was scary to think about waddling around and having a baby on his own. The regular income would be worth it, something they hadn’t had since before his father had gone off to war. His youngest sibling had barely been one at that time and there were only so many jobs a working mother could find without leaving them all home alone to fend for themselves.  

Louis was the only omega in the family and the only one able to offer himself for the benefit of the ones he loved.  His first check had already filled their cupboards with food which was a great first step. 

His baby would be a government baby, too.  Well taken care of and set up for a life of prosperity, especially if they presented alpha.  Alphas from the program were almost guaranteed to be set for life. 

Louis wondered how many other children Harry had fathered.  The government wasn’t forthcoming about the alphas in the BP.  They stated they preferred for it to remain more anonymous to the general public with few details being released.  He did know that many of them stayed in dorms at the BP centers across the country but even that was just assumed knowledge.  

He wondered if his child would look like Harry and then if he would be able to recognize Harry’s features in other children born from the program.  It made him feel the edges of jealousy that his alpha was fathering other omega’s children. He knew it was only the result of the lack of bond between them but it was hard to completely squash down.  It was ingrained in his biology, in his nature. 

He also began to wonder if any alpha would ever want him after learning of his participation in the BP.  Not only would they have to come to terms with the fact that other alphas had knotted and bred him but also that he would have at least one child that he would have to accept as his own.  

Louis shook away the thought.  One of the reasons he had applied to the program was because he didn’t know any alphas close to his own age.  The alphas he had known as a child had all either been drafted or relocated for the war effort. After that, he didn’t know.  He’d heard about one of his alpha cousins being accepted into the BP after working in one of the naval factories during his teens but he didn’t know that side of the family well enough to know how that had happened.  It was possible that every alpha single at the start of the program had been pulled in as a part of it. 

It was very possible the BP was his only chance at having children at all let alone a proper mate.  

Harry’s thumbs rubbing light circles on Louis’ inner thighs brought him back to the present.  He looked down and watched the gentle way Harry touched him even if it was barely there. It calmed him.  

There had been another shift in the alpha who stared down at the place they were connected.  It made Louis blush and have the urge to pull down the light gown he wore to cover himself. 

“First time with a male presenting omega,” Harry offered softly, thumbs moving dangerously close to Louis’ penis.  

“I thought I might not be accepted because of it,” Louis answered. 

“Males are more likely to birth an alpha.  Something about hormone composition or something.  They’re high priority in the BP.” 

Louis hadn’t known that.  He watched Harry’s thumb slowly travel until he was able to graze the side of Louis’ dick.  

“I’m not supposed to touch but it’s just so little.”

“That’s okay,” Louis breathed.  He understood the feeling. He wanted to touch Harry’s for the opposite reason.  He hadn’t expected it to be so large the same way Harry apparently had never seen one so small.  Male omegas were probably not readily available for use in the army. 

It had retracted back to its normal size, just the head sticking out from his body.  Harry’s fingers pulled back the foreskin that covered part of it and explored it with curiosity.  It felt good to have an alpha touch him and he felt another gush of slick as a result. Harry groaned when Louis clenched down around his knot.  Louis felt it pulse in response. The reaction was the most emotion he had seen out of Harry. 

Harry’s knot started to deflate not long after but he stayed inside until he was almost completely soft.  The plug Harry inserted after was uncomfortable after his body had formed to Harry’s knot and he shifted around to find relief from the pressure.  Harry noticed and pressed against the base, the ridge settling just beyond the ring of muscle. He had to admit it felt slightly better. 

At a slow pace, Harry tucked himself away and then disposed of his gloves.  It felt to Louis that he was lingering but knew it was just his wishful omega nature.  

“Your nurse should be in shortly,” Harry finally said and then slipped out of the room.  

The process went a lot faster the second time around and soon Louis was cleaned up and sent on his way.  

He left the plug in longer than he had been instructed to that day.  With his siblings at school and his mother off at her part time job, Louis took advantage of the rare silence in the house.  Normally Louis would also be off at school or at his job at the grocery store. He’d been forced to quit that job since the BP set strict limits on activity and lifting.  He would have been kicked out of the program if it was discovered he was still carrying around heavy boxes and stocking shelves. 

He lined his pills up on the table with a glass of water and then sat down to take each one.  The chair jolted the plug nestled inside him and he moaned as it rubbed against his prostate. It felt so good that he shifted his hips, grinding against the solid chair to cause more movement.  

_ “The odds of conceiving are better of the omega has an orgasm.”  _  Harry’s voice echoed in his head.  Being constantly horny was new for him with all of the hormones and drugs but he wanted to take advantage of it.  As soon as he was pregnant, the fertility hormones would be stopped and his body would more than likely go back to its nearly dormant state.  It might be the only time in his life to enjoy being so sexual outside of heat. 

Louis was hard again.  He swallowed down each pill quickly and sprinted down the hallway to his room.  The plug shifted with each step so he was dripping by the time he was naked on the bed.  

It was natural for him to crawl onto the mattress and present, ass up in the air and back deeply arched.  He could reach around behind himself to press on the base of the plug while his other hand palmed his dick.  He used his own slick to make the glide smoother and soon he was humping into his hand and pressing back against the plug for more in a fast rhythm.

He imagined Harry as his alpha draped over his back while he pounded in from behind.  His body would be so warm against Louis’ and his cock would feel so good entering him from that angle.  It was the ideal mating position dictated by nature and Louis wanted to experience the real thing. He wondered why they didn’t use that technique at the BP center.  To him it seemed the most logical and successful mating practice. 

His fantasy wandered off to imagine what it would be like to be bonded.  Would Harry be aggressive and primal when he bit or loving and soft? 

Louis came to the phantom sensation of teeth biting down.  As soon as his head began to clear he realized it had been a mistake.  Now that the seed had been planted, he knew that longing would always be there, a longing for something he couldn’t have.  

He sighed but stayed in position with his hips raised.  He knew it as one that would make it easier for any remaining sperm to make it into his womb.  

Exhausted, Louis pulled the covers up over himself and fell asleep, dreaming of an alpha that would never be his.  


	3. Chapter 3

 

Harry returned to his room and let out a long sigh.  The artificial sunlight they forced upon him messed with eyes and left him with a headache that lingered long into the night.  For every year he spent in the army, a majority of the time he spent wishing he could be indoors away from the unforgiving elements they were forced to live with.  Now that he wasn’t allowed the luxury of even feeling a fresh breeze against his face, he found himself wishing he could be back in enemy territory just one more night.  It was a depressing thought. 

The buzzer sounded signalling the evening lock down and Harry deflated as he did every night.  His quarters were like a cramped studio apartment with just the bare necessities but at least he had his own bathroom.  

He stripped and stepped under the stream of hot water in his cubicle shower and let the heat give him a moment of comfort and relaxation.  He lathered up some body wash and went directly to his dick to wash himself clean of the day’s activities. Of course he was sanitized between each omega but that still never left him feeling clean.  The smell of their slick clung to him all day and made him feel disgusting for what he was forced to do. 

He washed the rest of his body and then toweled off before twisting it around his hair like a turban.  His living space was at least kept warm enough that he didn’t shiver when he walked to his small bed without clothes. 

Opening the drawer on the small bedside table, he pulled out the lotion he had requested.  It had taken a few weeks to receive but it had been worth it. It was thick and creamy and exactly what he needed at the end of each day.  He pumped some into his hand and leaned back as he slowly spread it over his cock. 

Spending so much time buried in omega slick, his dick was often chapped and raw.  The BP officials in charge didn’t care so long as it worked so he was sent in no matter what his state on a daily basis.  

Initially the lotion stung his skin but slowly morphed into a soothing cool that helped to heal his sensitive skin overnight at least a little.  He coated it thick over his shaft and then pumped more into his hand to spread over his balls. They were swollen and sore between his legs, covered with bruises from the constant injections and forced overproduction.  It had been so long that he barely remembered what it felt like to feel or walk normal without the uncomfortable twinge of aching pain. 

Turning on his tv, he continued to gently massage himself until the lotion grew tacky.  He flipped through his limited channel selection and stopped on the news. With little to no contact with the outside world, it was his only way to catch a glimpse of what was going on outside the walls of the BP center.  

“The Government Breeding Program published their quarterly statistics this morning showing a seven percent rise in alpha births over last quarter.  This adds to the sixty percent increase documented since the BP was founded. Experts predict a slight decline in numbers with the BP omega incentives and benefits set to decrease at the beginning of the year.  Eligible omegas are urged to apply prior to these changes in order to receive full compensation for their first pregnancy.” 

Harry rolled his eyes and nearly switched channels.  The general public had no idea what truly happened at the BP.  He’d seen the interviews about alpha veterans receiving free housing and benefits in exchange for fathering the country’s next generation of alphas.  He’d heard the praises sung to the politicians for making sure the alphas returning from war were taken care of. He’d seen the propaganda used to paint the BP in a rosy light and the bait they used to get young omegas through the door to willingly rent out their bodies for the good of their country.  

No one saw the way the alphas had returned from a war they didn’t even want to fight only to be shuffled into government holding cells while the specifics of the program were hammered out.  No one saw the way they were treated like prisoners and transferred to their “new quarters” under the cover of darkness and kept locked away in the BP centers. No one saw the way they were subjected to medical experiments without their consent and forced to breed multiple omegas a day with synthetic bonding chemicals to make sure they knotted each one.  

Harry had still been in the process of finishing school when he had been drafted.  Ripped away from his life and family before he was even a legal adult, Harry had barely experienced his first kiss before being thrown into battle.  He watched countless men being killed around him for years of his young adult life and returned with the dream of finding a mate living quietly in the countryside with their family.

Instead, Harry hadn’t even had a chance to see the countryside once he’d returned.  He was forced upon omega after omega without the luxury of even a kiss in the process.  He’d fathered what had to be over a hundred kids by now and had never been allowed to see even one.    

It was draining on both the mind and body.  

There were seven alphas held at this BP center and each one had a full schedule.  They weren’t allowed to interact beyond a passing nod, each assigned to work on a different floor of the center.  Harry was at least glad that the rooms he worked in had large windows with the blinds rarely closed. It gave him a glimpse of freedom that kept him going until his next appointment.  

It was nice to recharge with some natural sunlight since their rooms were tucked away in the center of the building.  Harry assumed it was easier to keep their conditions hidden and their escape less likely. Harry had tried it and learned not to attempt again.  

As soon as he had arrived at the BP center, a device had been implanted along his spine at the base of his neck.  The first time he had attempted to walk through the doors, a strange feeling had come over him before he crumpled to the floor like a wet noodle.  The device had the ability to disable motor nerves when one of the set boundaries had been crossed. Since Harry had not done so violently or erratically, they’d let him off with a warning about his “mistake”.  It still took three technicians and twelve hours to reanimate his nervous system. It had been a painful experience he did not want to repeat. He still had phantom pains from time to time even years after the incident.  

In confinement, his addiction to news was one of the only thing that kept his mind active.  As a rule, he was instructed to not converse with any omega past things directly related to the knotting.  Most of the time that wasn’t a problem. 

Many omega that were spread out on one of his tables fit into one of three categories.  Young and scared, unable to form words; Overeager and obnoxious, focused on moaning like pornography; Emotionless, laid out on the table without reaction.  None of them made it easy. 

But then there was Louis.  Louis had asked him questions and made him think about things he had tucked away in the recesses of his mind.  They’d only met a few times yet Harry found himself looking forward to those appointments. 

Not only was Louis the first male omega he’d ever been paired with, his scent was the most wonderful thing Harry had ever encountered.  It hadn’t been a process to knot or even get hard with those pheromones hitting his system. It was a rare experience. 

It other ways, the attraction made it more difficult.  It was challenging to leave the room when his instincts were screaming at him to claim and even worse when he was forced to knot another omega not long after.  The lingering effects of an omega was something he hadn’t yet encountered in the sea of the faceless ones he’d been paired up with. 

His alpha reared its head at every omega that didn’t smell right and each time he was reminded that not only was his mate not beside him but he had no way of knowing where he even was.  There were many things Harry had learned to turn off about his nature that slapped him across the face as soon as Louis had been assigned to him. The moment he felt he had finally gotten it out of his system, the mere thought brought him right back to square one.  Had this happened before he’d been shipped off to war, Harry would be courting Louis with determination, sure he was meant to be Harry’s true mate. 

Things weren’t like that anymore.  Harry wasn’t even allowed to control his own body let alone his right to choose a mate.  

A second weeks of appointments with Louis started and Harry couldn’t help but go against his instinct and be thankful he hadn’t yet caught.  As soon as Louis was pregnant, Harry might never see him again. Omegas weren’t always paired the same if they wished to sign on for another pregnancy.  If the child was not born an alpha, for example, they would be repaired in hopes of a different result. 

From what Harry could tell, he was good at producing alphas, but there was no science to assuring that.  There was also nothing that ensured that Louis would even return to the program. There were many one and done omegas willing to have one child for the benefits but were unwilling or unable to return.  It pained Harry to think about it. 

Louis was on his schedule for at least another day, his first appointment of the morning.  

Mornings were Harry’s least favourite time of the day.  Awoken at the crack of dawn, he was sent down to the alpha clinic corner of the center before he was even allowed breakfast.  Strapped in even though it had all become routine, Harry stared at the ceiling with his legs held apart not much different than the way the omegas he serviced were presented to him.  

The doctor disinfected the spot on the meat of his cheek for the day’s injection and then stuck the needle in without any warning.  It sometimes made it hard to sit if the doctor or nurse of the day was particularly rough or careless. The next shots were the worst.  Directly into his most sensitive skin, the next injections went directly into his balls. He’d asked what they were pumping him with once and the answer had been vague.  Surely some type of hormones, Harry could always feel the effects a few hours later. His balls felt heavy and he would always stay just a little bit hard. It also made it much easier to knot, his trigger always at the ready instead of chasing it like he always had back when he touched himself.  It gave him the effects of rut without the behaviour. 

He knew the omegas were given something similar but at least it wasn’t every day for an extended amount of time.  Harry wasn’t sure he’d be able to knot on his own anymore if he any desire to try. 

Remembering that Louis was first up this morning, the drugs had a more significant effect on him.  He felt antsy, pent up– anxious to bury himself in Louis’ heat. His hips twitched and his fingers bounced as he counted down the minutes until he was let loose on the omega.  He felt like a bull penned up at a rodeo, raring to go the moment the gate was released. 

He could smell him already.  He lingered in the hallway while they did their exam and texts, just far enough out of sight that he didn’t look suspicious.  Most of the staff at the center were beta and Harry was thankful for that as he subtly scented the air. It was something betas didn’t usually pick up since the subtle act wasn’t familiar to them.  Another alpha would have called him out right on the spot. 

“Harry, you’re up,” the nurse let him know as she left the room.  

Harry had a good relationship with most of the working staff.  They just came to work like anyone else and had nothing to do with Harry’s captivity nor did they have any say in changing it.  As a government run institution, he didn’t blame them for not wanting to suffer the consequences of stirring things up. He got the impression that most of them didn’t know the extent of his prison, anyway.  To them Harry’s position was no different from being stationed at one of the many military bases around the world. An appointment with an end date, security measures for their own safety. 

From the outside, a cage to keep the world out looked the same as a cage to keep the prisoner in.  They were the government’s most coveted alphas and assigned the top level security detail. While that was technically true, their main purpose was to keep the alphas in not keep them safe.  

The guard eyed him as he knocked and then entered Louis’ room, standing not far away incase he should try to bolt.  He wouldn’t. 

He slipped into the room and was hit by the strength of Louis’ scent.  It even took him a second to steady himself. The steady hormones increased the potency of his faux heat scent every time Harry saw him.  It didn’t make it any easier to walk away. 

Louis was spread out as usual, slick already thick around the plug.  It made his mouth water and his toes curl in his shoes. His fingers were already wet with it by the time Harry realized he hadn’t gone for gloves.  It was a required practice and one that Harry always obeyed. Even though he was forced to slide his dick in bare, the gloves gave him at least one barrier he could control.  With Louis, he didn’t want it. It took everything in him not to raise his coated fingers to his mouth for a taste. 

He was already hard in his scrubs and ripped the velcro apart to free himself while he pulled out the plug.  It bounced on the floor when it missed the tray in his haste but he couldn’t be bothered. His sweet omega was open and wet for him, waiting anxiously for his knot.  

Harry’s mind had quickly spun into a state of rut, a headspace he hadn’t been in since his last natural cycle years before.  He grabbed his dick and lined himself up, thrusting in with one hard motion. Louis gasped but then whined, Harry’s alpha attuned to the omega’s cues to know Louis was just as desperate.  

A look up at his face confirmed his thoughts, Louis’ expression the opposite of what it had been the first time they’d mated.  His jaw was slack and his eyes rolled back in pleasure, moans spilling out as Harry found a jolting rhythm. 

This wasn’t how he normally did it, wasn’t how he was supposed to.  Insert, concentrate, knot. It was meant to be clinical and emotionless.  That’s how he had been instructed. 

He couldn’t control himself with all the biological cues his body was picking up from Louis.  Just as in rut, it was over fast. His knot started to inflate and his pace caused him to almost miss the tie.  Louis yelped as he forced it in and they were left breathing heavily as they stared at each other. 

Harry moaned and collapsed forward when he started to come, his hands barely catching himself on the table on either side of Louis.  It was intense and overwhelming in a way he hadn’t remembered it could be. 

“Is it like this with other omegas?” Louis whispered as if he were afraid to disturb the moment.  

“Never,” Harry shook his head and leaned in to steal a forbidden kiss.  

 


	4. Chapter 4

Over a month in and Louis still wasn’t pregnant.  He started to question whether he even wanted to be.  Being pregnant meant his visits with Harry would come to an end and he wasn’t ready for that to happen.  

Their time together during each appointment was brief but long enough for Louis to become attached.  Harry’s scent had an effect on him that couldn’t be replicated anywhere else in his life. Calming, lustful, satisfying– Harry’s aura stirred him up and settled him at the same time whenever they were together.  

Louis let himself imagine what it would be like to be mated with Harry, to have his scent marked and lingering through the house.  It was dangerous territory for his thoughts to wander into but Louis couldn’t help it. He came home smelling of the alpha three days out of the week, marked with his come that leaked out of him for hours.  Those pheromones combined with all the drugs they pumped him with left him with the low but constant buzz of heat, and in return, the longing need for his alpha.

It had him getting off more frequently than he ever had before, but it was more than just that.  Harry had an enthusiasm with Louis that he could tell Harry was trying to hold back. Since their kiss Harry had continued to push boundaries, always while glancing over his shoulder and seeming nervous a moment after.  It was clear that he was breaking the rules or at the very least pushing the boundaries. It made Louis feel special which then made it harder for him to leave.

 

Harry was knotted deep and tight, playing with Louis’ cock like he was fascinated by it.  Louis didn’t mind. It still felt good even after several orgasms and he liked any kind of attention he could get.

“Do you think they’d unstrap me so we could try a normal breeding position next time?” Louis asked.  There were times when Harry was talkative and others where he just shook his head or ignored Louis’ questions all together.  It was always a gamble on what type of day it would be.

“Go ahead and suggest it.  They don’t take too kindly to deviations from procedure.”  Harry said with a scoff that alluded to more than Louis knew he would tell.  

“It’s just logical,” Louis shrugged, “It’s called the breeding position for a reason.  I’ve been doing a lot of research and it makes the body more receptive. Why wouldn’t they let us do that here?”  

“It would make it too intimate I imagine.”  Harry’s thumb slid down to the place their bodies were connected and moved it through Louis’ slick.  It felt weird but good. “They get away with calling it a procedure this way. They already slap a title on me and send me in wearing a lab coat.”  

Louis looked around and realized Harry was probably right.  They were in an exam room with harsh white walls and medical instruments readily available.  It wasn’t a setting Louis could imagine bending over for his alpha in. Then again, he would have never thought of being knotted with his feet in stirrups wearing a medical gown either.  

“That’s how I think about it when I’m at home.  I think it would feel good to present for you.”

Harry’s nostrils flared and his lips pressed into a tight line.  

“Can we not talk about it?” Harry asked with tremendous effort like he was struggling with his nature to say it.  His fingers gripped Louis’ hips tight, fingers digging into the meat. “It’s already hard enough to do this and then have to leave.”  

It was satisfying to hear Harry voice the same feelings Louis had.  It was hard for him to walk out of the BP each time as well. Louis would follow the scent through the hallways to find him if he picked up on it.  So far it was completely gone each time he left the exam room.

Harry stole another kiss from Louis as his knot went down and his fingertips trailed down his cheek.

“I have to go.  I’ll see you in a few days.”

Harry worked the plug in, shooting Louis one last smile before slipping out of the room.  

The lonely loss of contact with his alpha was getting harder to deal with.  If they were courting, the same longing would be that of excitement, of things to come.  There would be a purpose, the absence making the heart grow fonder. In Louis’ case, it just felt devastating.  

A depression settled in him that bobbed and sank in an unpredictable cycle that left him feeling hollow.  He even found himself searching the internet to find any trace of Harry outside the BP in the real world. Maybe if he could find him they could at least spend time together even if Harry wasn’t allowed to bond.  Louis didn’t even have a last name to add to the search, all traces of any of the alphas in the BP seemingly wiped clear. Louis couldn’t even find detailed information about the BP center he regularly visited. All he could find were links to the application and general “what to expect” articles.

He would ask for a full name at his next appointment.  Or even an address or a phone number. Surely Harry could give that out if it was his own choice.  

For Louis’ next appointment he folded up a piece of paper and brought a pen, determined to get some information.  He tucked them into his pocket and made his way to the center. There was a smile on his face and a bounce in his step and he wondered why he hadn’t thought of it earlier.  

He hummed happily while he undressed and slipped into the gown, climbing up onto the table to swing his feet while he waited for the nurse to take his blood.  He hated needles but that was becoming routine as well.

Anxious to see Harry, he bounced while he waited and then had to be told more than once to hold still while the nurse tried to draw his blood.

It felt like it was taking longer than usual for the doctor to come in for his exam once the nurse had left.  He wished he would have looked at the clock to know if it was just his mind playing tricks on him.

His answer came a while later when the nurse returned with the doctor and a device on wheels that made Louis nervous.  

“Sorry for the delay, we had to run a few more tests but congratulations!  You’re pregnant!”

Static filled Louis’ ears and his body suddenly felt cold.  If he was pregnant then that meant…

“What about Harry??” Louis blurted out and was surprised he didn’t sound as frantic as he felt.  

“Don’t worry about that,” the doctor chuckled, “We’ll send you home with some scented items so your chances of miscarriage are lowered since it’s an unbonded pregnancy.  We’ve gone through this hundreds of times, we wouldn’t have forgotten something like that.”

The doctor winked at Louis and his eyes welled up at the doctor’s misunderstanding.  Louis didn’t just want his scent. Louis wanted his alpha.

The doctor carried on with the ultrasound, mistaking Louis’ tears for those of joy.  

They sent him on his way with a different type of appointment and a large care package he was scared to open.  

Louis was already home when it really hit him.  The paper and pen fell from his pocket onto the floor and he crumpled.  Harry’s baby was inside him and he needed him now more than he ever had before.  The reality was harsh and cruel.

He might never see Harry again and he was carrying his baby.  But then, that’s what he had signed up for, right?


	5. Chapter 5

Harry just couldn’t understand it.  Louis’ name was on his schedule when he had been led into the clinic that morning.  It was a particularly bad morning and he used the anticipation of seeing Louis to get him through.  

He always hated the days they forced him to scent mark things.  Blankets, clothing or whatever they handed him. It was draining.  It took a lot out of him to mark things without being organically prompted.  It was always a struggle when there wasn’t a clear reason for it. He wasn’t protecting or comforting his omega and he wasn’t staking his claim.  

All the clinicians were betas.  They didn’t care. 

Harry endured his shots and the marking, just waiting for it all to be over for his appointment with Louis.  It felt like a big day. Harry was ready to unstrap Louis’ feet and bend him over something if that’s what the omega was up for.  It wasn’t specifically against the rules. Harry didn’t think so anyway. He couldn’t recall a single training or written restriction that said it wasn’t allowed, just highly frowned upon most likely.  

Harry was willing to risk it so long as it made Louis happy which he longed for almost as much as his freedom.  

He sprinted to the room he was directed to and waited while bouncing on the balls of his feet for the nurse to give him the okay.  He was at her side before the door to the room had even closed. 

“Geesh, you’re enthusiastic today,” the nurse commented with a laugh.  

He tried to give her a convincing response but he knew it was half-assed at best.  What wasn’t half-assed was the smile that took over his face before pulling the door open.  

His expression dropped in an instant the moment his eyes landed on the omega spread out on the table.  The omega that wasn’t Louis. He realized the familiar scent hadn’t been in the air and he wasn’t hard from it, realized that he was in the wrong room.  

He backed out of the room without a word jogged to the nurses station.  

“What’s my room again?” Harry asked, the closed guard right on his tail.  

It was the right room.  It was the right time. It wasn’t the right name.  

Harry blinked and looked at the schedule again, Louis’ name completely scrubbed from the list.  He started to question it when he got a funny look from the nurse and then a hand on his arm. He turned towards the guard and he realized his mistake when confronted with the stern mask that had fallen over the guard’s face. 

With a firm grip on his biceps, Harry was turned and marched down the hallway.  The guard escorted him into the room where the omega that was not Louis was still in position.  

He couldn’t do it.  There was no way he could get hard let alone knot in his state.  He spun around to the guard blocking the door subtly displaying the small remote in his hand.  A zing of electricity spread from the base of his neck as a warning and Harry didn’t know what to do.  

Harry tried, he really did.  The threat was real which didn’t help the situation.  His body wouldn’t work and his mind wouldn’t focus. He was supposed to be with Louis, it was Louis’ time.  If he was off the list that only meant one thing– their mating had been successful. Harry might never see him again.  

Even the thought was pure torture. 

He was finally dragged away once it was clear he wouldn’t obey.  Harry was barely with it enough to even be aware of what was happening.  They didn’t take him back to his quarters but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered.  He wasn’t with his omega and it was all he could focus on. 

He got to walk outside for the first time in years and he could barely even acknowledge that it happened.  It was dark and he let it consume him. 

 

* * *

 

 

Pregnancy was nothing like Louis had expected it to be.  The extensive paperwork he’d been made to sign had nothing on the actual experience. 

In the days after he was informed, Louis was a mess.  He would have still felt like himself it hadn’t been for the emotional trauma of being ripped away from Harry.  His nausea was brought on only by his violent sobs, his restlessness caused by the longing that consumed him. 

Just when he thought he would never feel whole again, the first real symptoms of his pregnancy came on with a vengeance.  He felt jumpy and paranoid, barricading himself in his room until necessity forced him out for brief periods. 

His mom hypothesized that his extreme behaviour was overcompensating for the lack of alpha protection.  Without a bond to mark him, his instincts went into overdrive. Though rare and illegal in Louis’ time, babies born out of bond were vulnerable to infanticide by alphas intending to claim and mate with the omega parent while erasing all evidence of the other alpha.  That fear was still wired into his biology

It made him increasingly stressed and anxious until his doctors prescribed strong medication that caused him to feel detached from himself.  They assured him it would have no effect on the baby so he gladly took it just so he wouldn’t have to feel.

Long torturous nights blended into endless days that Louis watched himself in like a montage.  The checks came and his family was taken care of. That’s why he had signed up to begin with. He had given his own life away for the sake of theirs.  He hadn’t fully understood what that meant. 

The only constant that kept Louis attached to his body at all was the pull he started feeling just weeks in.  The overwhelming love and attachment he felt to the occupant of his womb was intense. His every thought and action revolved around the little creature that he would do anything to protect.  His belly grew and his body ached but it was the only evidence he had of his brief union with Harry. 

The world moved around him at lightning speed but he hardly noticed.  The passing of time was marked only by the growth and movement of his baby.  He nested and prepared the best way he knew how as his due date grew close. The BP had provided many essentials that his mom got in order while he had more important things to worry about.  

When the time finally came, a calm descended upon him. 

In the darkness of night, Louis climbed into his nest stocked with towels and let his contractions roll over him in waves.  He didn’t call for his mom nor did he call the BP. Just the thought of the chaos and stress of the hospital or clinic was too much for Louis to handle.  

He followed the signs his body gave him in a trance and delivered on his own just before the sun began to rise.  The baby’s scent carried a hint of Harry’s and he broke down. Months of bottled up emotions spilled out of him as he cradled the infant and that was exactly how his mother found him.  


	6. Chapter 6

Harry thrust deep into the omega spread out on the table and closed his eyes.  His teeth clenched and his jaw tensed while he focused his attention solely on his dick.  They had been pumping him full of so many drugs it was honestly difficult to focus on anything other than the frustratingly hard rod that was always between his legs.  He did have to force his knot to work on command though which took a little more effort. 

He moved just enough to give him some friction and then slammed in hard when his knot reacted to the stimulation.  It expanded in a weak display of what it could be but it still did the job. His balls throbbed painfully as he came into the third omega of the day and just hoped that it would be over soon.  

There wasn’t another choice for Harry but to force himself through it.  His time spent at the reeducation center had made that clear. 

Objectively, another choice had been presented to Harry.  If his unwillingness to perform continued, they wouldn’t hesitate to implant a device that would force him to knot on command.  The demonstration that had been performed on him had been enough to bring him to his senses. Do it himself or be forced to a life of electrical pulses and artificial arousal.  What he was subjected to already was bad enough without any other outside forces. 

He had powered through and eventually was back on duty once they could assure that he would cooperate.  With each day that went by, he was able to repress more pieces of himself that still wanted to resist until he felt numb.  Louis never left him, never left his mind, but it was eventually easier to tuck him away as well into a place where Harry could still keep him special.  

Harry went through the motions– he was forced to.  He let himself be herded back to his cell and then back to the clinic every morning.  He endured the injections and medications that kept him docile and constantly ready to pop his knot.  It was a strange state of existing that he’d grown used to tolerating. It had been years, after all. It had been over six months since the heightened doses that had him forgetting what it was like to go completely soft.  He’d even learned how to work around the struggle of his bodily functions in such a state.

The morning’s routine was no different than any other.  Shots, meds, examinations, breakfast. He went through the motions on autopilot.  He never bothered to check his schedule anymore. It was easier to be directed towards his assigned room with as little involvement as he could manage.  

There was something in the air that cracked through his emotionless exterior on that morning that made him feel uneasy.  It slowly chipped away as the day went on.

It was before his second appointment of the day that he turned down the hallway and stopped dead in his tracks.  The guard behind him nearly smacked right into his back. The scent in the air caused everything he had built up to crumble within a second.  It took everything in him to keep his hopes in check but he knew that scent could only come from one omega. His omega. 

Louis.  

Louis was in that very hallway.  

Harry steadied his stride and steeled his expression though his fingers curled into fists at his sides.  He wasn’t sure how he would react if he wasn’t led to Louis’ room. Beyond the medications, he could feel his response pushing to the surface, a feeling that bordered on feral.  The surge overpowered any of the drugs they pumped into him, overpowered every mind game they played. 

They were outside Louis’ door.  The scent was overwhelming and he knew Louis had to be on the other side.  He had to cough loudly to cover up the growl that had rumbled up from his chest and cleared his throat again for good measure.  

It was his room and he knocked to keep up appearances before slipping inside.  

Harry had never experienced anything like what happened the moment he saw Louis spread open for him.  His mind disintegrated into feral instincts and he surged forward. Louis gasped when his legs were yanked out of the bindings attached to the stirrups.  There wasn’t time for any other reaction once Harry had his hands on him. 

Louis’ hands scrambled for a hold on anything to keep his balance as Harry ripped him from his seat and spun him around.  The gown fell of his body easily which left every inch of skin exposed for Harry to scent. 

It wasn’t the time, though, Harry didn’t have time.  

He bent Louis over the table where his cheek ended up pressed against the crinkled paper cover and ripped the plug out of his wet hole.  He wanted to throw him onto the floor in the same space the plug just bounced so his omega could present for him properly but they didn’t have time for rituals either.  Harry needed to stake his claim after so many months being deprived. 

He was scenting the whole room– he could tell through his haze– and a voice in the back of his mind prayed no one on the other side of the of the door would be keen enough to pick it up.  It had to be strong. There was no other way around it. 

There was a loud tear as Harry ripped his pants open with too much strength and then he was finally sheathed inside the warmth of his omega.  Louis cried out and then moaned, knuckles white in their grip on the sides of the table. 

The sound was wet and sloppy as Harry slammed in with forceful thrusts.  Slick wet the thin fabric of his pants still covering his thighs and made them stick against his skin.  Louis was no better with his own thighs sticky and everything in between. 

Harry’s knot was already swelling with the urgency to claim his omega, the bulb popping in and out of Louis’ hole punctuated by his wails.  Louis tilted his head to the side which exposed his neck and bit into his forearm to keep himself quiet. Harry didn’t want him to hold back but this wasn’t about their pleasure.  

He leaned in and scented Louis, dragging his nose along the juncture of his neck.  One deep breath of his omega’s aroused and desperate scent and Harry’s knot popped and locked them together with a loud gasp from Louis.  

The satisfying feeling of his teeth sinking into flesh caused his orgasm to hit in full force.  His balls ached in a pleasurable way for the first time in months and each shot of come made his body quiver.  He kept his hold until he tasted the metallic tinge of blood and then the surge of emotion that nearly knocked him off his feet.  He growled against the taste and then licked while Louis whimpered and went limp beneath him. 

Harry slid his hand around to rub Louis off, his dick fitting so perfectly in the palm of his hand.  Louis came twice on Harry’s knot as he ground it in, his first lubricating Harry’s hand for an easier second.  

It was only after it was done that Harry’s mind cleared enough to realize what had happened.  His heart beat faster as he stared down at his mark that marred Louis’ skin, assisted by the rush of Louis’ emotions cycling through him.  

Louis was his.  He’d never be able to knot another.  He didn’t want to. 

His knot lasted unusually long as it sealed their bond and secured his claim for breeding rights.  He kissed and sucked at their mark and both shivered each time the invisible strings between them quivered.  

“They predict he’ll be alpha,” Louis whispered after a few minutes, “I named him Harris.” 

Harry again bit down on their mark but not hard enough to re-break the skin as he growled in approval.  His instinct thrived on breeding strong healthy alpha offspring and it felt more powerful when it was with the mate his biology had chosen.  Now that he had claimed his omega, something inside him settled now that he wouldn’t have to fight off any other breeding attempts or worry about the safety of his pup.  

Just as Harry’s knot was finally deflating, the door slammed open and suddenly the room was swarming with guards.  Harry yanked Louis into his arms and a feral growl ripped out of him that even had his omega trembling. They were backed into the corner of the small room with no where else to go and Harry’s alpha was going wild.  

“Grab the O!” someone shouted.  Harry’s arms only tightened. 

One of the guards approached and Harry went into attack mode, shielding Louis behind him before lunging forward.  He barely made it a foot before his body crumpled uselessly to the ground. His limbs folded limply at uncomfortable angles and it was difficult to breathe.  

They wrapped Louis into a blanket as he fought and rushed him out of room while Harry could do nothing but watch.  Everything in him fought but it was no use. He remained incapacitated on the cold tile floor until one of the doctors rushed in to put him out.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I keep pushing the chapters but it just feels better divided this way than all crammed together.


	7. Chapter 7

 

Harry had never felt particularly aggressive at any point in his life.  Being sent off to war never changed that part of him. He wasn’t the alpha running to the front lines or wielding his weapon with a vengeance.  He accepted the things he could not change and tried to make the best of it.

That changed when he was stripped down and left as nothing but the feral animal that had been unleashed– in his mind at least.  

His body was left limp and lifeless on the cold tile until he was scooped up like a pile of dirty laundry.  They at least allowed him the luxury of breathing without gasping for air, each nerve tingling as they were reanimated.  It was a painful process and he could do nothing but clench his teeth as it happened. 

He could still feel Louis in the building but that hardly mattered when he could do nothing to protect him.  His alpha slammed himself against the walls of his useless body, both of them trapped inside. 

Harry recognized one of the clinic rooms as he was being spread out and stripped of the rest of his clothing.  Even though his nerves wouldn’t work for movement, the freezing surface of the table left him very aware of their remaining ability to feel.  There was no way for him to flinch away or reposition himself to make it any better. 

Someone grabbed his arm and he felt a stabbing pain as they started an IV without any finesse.  

“They’re running tests on the omega,” someone said out of his sight, “We’ll know soon.”  

“Put him out until we know.  It won’t come looking for him if he’s unconscious.” 

Harry’s breathing sped up as he started to panic.  If his mind wasn’t active, Louis wouldn’t be able to feel him.  If he couldn’t feel him then—

Harry couldn’t even finish his thought before everything became dark.  

 

The first thing Harry became aware of was the cold.  It was a deep, penetrating freeze that cut down to his core and caused his breathing to hitch abnormally.  He instinctively reached for his blanket in his state half sleep and found nothing but his own bare skin. He shifted and his arm scraped against a rough surface.  Struggling, he tried to open his eyes unsuccessfully and began to panic. 

It wasn’t his mattress beneath him, it wasn’t just a chill in the air.  Harry was outside and exposed to the brutal conditions of winter. As if on cue the wind whipped up around him and caused bumps to tingle and rise on every inch of his body.  

When he was finally able to pry his eyes open, his suspicions were true.  The white of snow drifted around him was blinding with only the contrast of dark tree trunks to give him any sense of space.  

His skin felt frozen to the ground as he tried to move, his limbs not working the way he wanted them to but at least they were moving in general.  He forced himself into a sitting position and looked around, nothing but white, open space on one side and dense forest on his other. 

There was no way to know how he had ended up there nor how he was supposed to find his way back.  He didn’t even know if he  _ wanted _ to find his way back.  

  
  


* * *

 

  
  


Louis was pregnant– he’d been able to tell even before he’d gone back to the center.  The bonding had no doubt made their mating a certainty on the first go. The lack of it was why it had taken them so long the first time around to conceive.  

It felt different this time, a buzz of energy instead of the void he’d felt before his symptoms had started with his first.  The new feeling did little to ease the sense of loss he’d felt when his brand new connection with Harry had been abruptly cut off.  

He’d still been in the center when it had happened, strapped and sedated on a bed while they took his blood and pumped things through his IV.  It hadn’t exactly been painful the way some had described losing a mate. He attributed that to their bond being only hours old. There was no question that Harry was gone or his soul would still feel him.  

Louis kept up the charade each time he visited the BP.  He couldn’t afford to void his payouts and there were too many things that had been left unresolved.  He needed to know what had happened to Harry and why but knew he had to have patience. If the BP had no problem murdering an alpha for a bond, Louis had no idea what they were capable of.  He needed the answers and was smart enough not to cause too many waves to find them. 

Harris was still small and dependent on Louis for everything.  His mother helped between her shifts but he was mostly alone with his babies to suffer through his grief.  There was no doubt that Harris would grow to resemble his father as their new baby probably would as well. It was a double edged sword to imaging their children as the strong and healthy alphas he knew they would be.  Louis was already proud of them while knowing he would always be reminded of his alpha. Even though his mark would never fade, Louis knew he’d never bond over it again. Their time together was brief but intense. It would never leave him.  

He was sitting at the kitchen table with Harris at his chest when he felt it.  It was a ripple through the air that stirred something deep and unreachable within.  The concentration of energy in his belly flipped and caused him to gasp. He nearly lost his grip on his baby as the feeling consumed him.  It started as a small trickle and then extended until it fill his entire body down through his fingers and even his toes. 

Harry.  

There wasn’t a directional pull as there had been at first but it was unmistakable.  It had been over a month since he’d felt it but he knew. He put Harris down in his crib and started to pace away the energy bubbling in his veins.  Harry. Harry was out there. It was growing stronger the longer it went on and his internal compass started to develop a weak signal. 

Hours ticked slowly by like days, anticipation building until he could handle it no longer.  Harris cried while he lifted him up from his bed and bundled him up in his warmest clothes. He nested the stroller with blankets for good measure and then set off.  

It was clear that the distance was unwalkable once he’d made it a good distance from his house, but that didn’t stop his determination.  He instead took Harris back to the care of his mother and set out again with a different plan. 

He followed the bus routes as long as he could until he had reached the edge of the city.  The wind whipped around him as he stood at the last bus stop and stared off in the direction he was being pulled.  Harry’s emotions were unreadable at such a distance and Louis was at a loss. Harry could be miles away, far enough that Louis would never be able to reach him on foot.  He was also hungry again as the baby inside him demanded energy Louis hardly had anymore. 

It pained him but he had to give up.  It took him longer to get home, unfamiliar with the areas of the city he found himself in.  The pull only became stronger and the ache at feeling so close and walking away made his chest tight.  

He wouldn’t let Harris out of his sight while he spent a sleepless night with his alpha haunting his every move.  It was tangible and nearly too much for him to handle. 

When morning finally arrived it brought with it a change in the weather.  The sun was bright and the wind had died. The temperature was just a bit more tolerable and it made Louis even more determined.  

He set out again with Harris packed into his stroller and found his way back to the bus stop he had abandoned the previous day.  

The direction was more concrete and he powered on over the snow covered roads leading out of the city.  He remembered vacations in the country when he was young and the open scenery reminded him of those times.  It wasn’t completely abandoned with houses still rising occasionally not far from the road, but as close to the country as he could get within walking distance.  

Some of the snow had started to melt leaving blotched of exposed brown grass and muddy ground across the landscape.  It was the ugly side of winter Louis always wish would pass swiftly. It was because of these gaps in white that Louis almost missed it.  

They had been walking for at least an hour when Louis had to stop for a double take.  He rushed forward and then scrambled across the ditch to the body curled up along the high bank.  His naked skin was splotched with red against its pale tone and Louis was shaking by the time he was within an arm’s length.  He knew it was Harry before he was even able to see his face. 

Louis could barely steady himself enough to reach the stroller and remove one of the blankets he had tucked around the baby.  He was almost scared to touch the alpha, draping the blanket over him in a weak attempt to shield him from the cold. Louis had no way of telling how long Harry had been in such a state but he was still alive.  His shallow breathing was barely visible in his otherwise still form but it was there. 

Louis tucked the blanket around him and tried his best to rouse him.  Louis needed to see his eyes, needed to make sure he was still there. He couldn’t trust the pull, it was still too new.  

A slight flutter and flash of white was enough to throw Louis into action.  He sprinted back to the stroller and then set off towards the nearest house.  He had to get help since there was no way he could do anything for the alpha on his own.  Pregnant and without a vehicle, Louis would never be able to do more than sit with him and hope for someone to stumble across them.  

He was out of breath by the time he reached the door and Harris was crying.  Lifting his hand to knock, he could barely form the words when a young omega with a toddler on her hip answered the door.  

  
  


* * *

 

  
  


Harry woke up in stages.  He could hear the sounds of his mother’s muted voice from the kitchen and the familiar sound of pots and pans and utensils creating one of the meals she was always tending to.  His mother loved to cook, her hobby she’d always said. 

There were familiar scents in the air that calmed him as he snuggled back into his blankets with a smile on his face.  It must have been a Saturday if the sun was up and his mother hadn’t come in to smack his bum and tell him he’d be late for school.  He felt unburdened and light even though he still felt tired and figured the contrast of a bad dream must have left him with that feeling.  He pulled his legs up closer to his body and winced at the pains the movement caused him. Maybe he had been in bed too long, the lack of movement making him stiff.  

Stretching them out straight again, the fabric under his cheek was scratchy and the blanket he now held up to his chin was too soft.  The smile dropped from his face when the unfamiliar scent overwhelmed the ones he knew. With a moment to analyze, he didn’t scent his mother at all.  

His heart hammered in his chest and fear spiked as everything came rushing back to him like being thrown into the snowbank once again.  His body wouldn’t obey at first but when he was finally able to crack his eyes open, the room he was in was not familiar at all. The couch he was on was coarse and uncomfortable against his bare skin that he realized was raw and uncomfortable in the first place.  

Trying to sit up, a dizzying rush overwhelmed him and he flopped back down with a groan.  The voices in the next room cut off, replaced by the sound of footsteps. He attempted to breathe through the pain and his swirling head and then his senses were suddenly filled with one particular scent.  

Louis.  

Harry’s eyelids flew open to find Louis kneeling in front of him and a tentative hand reached out to carefully brush his hair back from his forehead.

“Shhh, just lie still,” Louis cooed softly, the sound lulling Harry’s eyes shut.  

He was exhausted and a pounding rhythm had started against his temples.  His skin felt like it was on fire and he threw the blankets off only to realize he was not only naked but the chill of the air felt even worse.  He shivered and covered himself again while he focused on trying to make sense of anything that had brought him into this situation. 

There were versions of his own scent in the air and he wondered how long he had been there to scent in different forms.  He couldn’t even identify his own markers but still knew they were his in essence. 

Harry must have fallen asleep at some point since it was dark the next time he awoke.  There was soft light coming from a lamp and Louis was curled up in an armchair not far away.  There was a baby cradled in his arms and Harry watched as Louis murmured to it softly.

It took him longer than he cared to admit to put the pieces together that this was their child, the one Louis had told him about before they had been ripped apart.  Harry knew what his purpose had been at the BP, knew that he had what could be hundreds of children out in the world, but it was the first time that reality had ever been presented to him.  

He scented the air and realized one he had detected earlier had to be that of their child.  It was light and airy since he was still a baby, not yet presented, but it was undoubtedly part of him.  

Louis and his child stayed in their bubble for a long while before Louis noticed that Harry was watching them.  With a soft smile, Louis rose from the chair and brought the baby over. It took a lot of effort, but Harry was able to prop himself up against the back of the couch so Louis could take a seat where his head had been resting.  

“This is Harris,” Louis spoke with a soft voice like he was trying not to wake someone, “He’s six months old and I think he looks more like you than me.”  

Harry stared down at the sleepy baby and was speechless.  He’d never seen one of his children before and he had to agree with Louis.  He could see himself in the baby instantly. It opened a can of worms that he immediately tried to shut down but the seed was already planted.  He couldn’t help but wonder if he would recognize himself in other children he might see on the street if ever given the chance. Did he even want to know or was it something he would be better off closing himself to?  

He reached out to touch the baby’s cheek to make it real, his hand jumping back when squirmed.  Louis let out a soft laugh at his reaction. 

“He won’t bite,” Louis smiled and offered the infant to him.  

Harry wasn’t quite ready for that and didn’t trust the functionality of his own limbs.  

He shook his head, “Not yet.”  

“I brought some clothes that might fit.”  

Harry’s head snapped up to the new voice in the room holding out some folded clothing.  She was omega with a toddler on her hip and Harry couldn’t stop staring. He wondered if he remembered her in a dream like state when he had woken up before because her face wasn’t new.  

It was the scent that snapped everything into place, another version of his own.  His gaze moved to the toddler and he wondered if he was just imagining the familiar curve of his eyebrows.  

“It was coincidence, honestly,” Louis spoke softly at his side.  Harry’s thoughts must have been obvious on his face. “I ran to the closest house after I found you.  Sharon was in the BP too and recognized you right away.” 

“Not an alpha, but he’s still perfect,” Sharon said as she hefted the toddler further onto her hip.  

Harry turned towards Louis with wide eyes.  “Louis, I’m so sor—” 

Louis pressed his finger against Harry’s lips to silence him.  “No. Don’t. We all knew what the BP was when we applied.” 

Harry opened his mouth to speak again and was silenced by Louis’ firm look.  He still felt like he needed to apologize. He had fathered other children outside of their bond and his alpha felt guilty for it.  Their bond hadn’t been allowed time to mature and already it felt like the first obstacle between them had risen. 

“I’m never going to be upset that there are others out there.  I have at least two for myself and now I have you too,” Louis said with finality.  

“Two??” Harry responded when it clicked.  They’d only mated once and, after it had taken so long for their first, Harry hadn’t considered it.  It had only been a few days and he’d hardly been conscious for them. 

“A little over a month along,” Louis nodded and slid a hand between Harris and himself to rest it on his stomach.  

“A month??”  Harry’s voice cracked and felt raw and was suddenly aware of how dry his mouth felt.  How could a month have passed? 

Louis looked worried and threw a glance towards Sharon.  

“Yeah, it’s been a month,” Louis nodded. 

Harry needed a moment to process.  It only seemed like three days but of course it had to have been more.  He could move on his own which wasn’t something that happened overnight.  He reviewed his memories and couldn’t come up with anything to account for the missing time, nothing to fill in the gaps he’d just learned existed.  

Sharon politely left the room so Harry could pull on the clothes that had been left for him.  Louis had to assist him when his muscles didn’t want to cooperate or twinged in pain. The weight and texture didn’t feel good against his skin, but it was comforting to be dressed even if the sweatpants only reached mid-calf and the shirt barely covered his stomach.  

Louis allowed him to sit in silence while he attempted to process the information he’d just been handed and Harry appreciated his patience.  His head was still pounding which made his thoughts more muddled than they usually were. Apart from that, the lack of stimulants in his system meant the cogs in his brain moved at a noticeably slower pace.  That and he didn’t have at least half an erection for the first time in years. He hadn’t expected that feeling closer to his old self would seem so foreign. 

“I don’t know what happened.  A whole month is just… gone.” 

Louis was quiet for a moment and then slide his hand into Harry’s and linked their fingers.  

“I thought you were gone.  I haven’t felt you since the day we bonded until I came looking for you.” 

“They put me out,” Harry answered barely above a whisper and then almost to himself, “Did they keep me out for that long?” 

“I don’t know,” Louis squeezed his hand, “How did you wind up naked in the snow?” 

“Just woke up there,” Harry shrugged and stared blankly at the floor.  

Louis’ thumb moved gently back and forth on the back of his hand and it was the most comforting touch he’d received in years.  It made something crack within him and the flood was almost too much to handle. He held himself back but Louis could sense it, leaning in to allow him to scent Louis’ calming presence even though it held a hint of underlying worry.  

“We’ll go home in the morning and figure everything out,” Louis whispered softly, “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> up next the epilogue!


	8. Chapter 8

  
  


It had been months and, oddly enough, the subject had never been brought up.  Of course it had been brought up but not in the present tense or in the context of their own personal relationship.  It seemed inappropriate and too soon and not something that they should build their relationship on after everything that had happened.  

It had been months and they still hadn’t talked about sex.  

To be honest, Louis hadn’t thought much about it himself.  There had been a continuous flutter of activity centered around them since the moment Harry had joined him at their home.  It came out that Harry was the first alpha to come out of the BP and a media frenzy ignited the moment it caught wind. 

Stories flooded in about missing loved ones that never returned from war and Harry became the voice of the program.  Of course the BP denied his claims, but too many cracks in their propaganda had been exposed. 

It was clear to Louis that they had left Harry for dead.  They hadn’t expected him to survive. Although Louis didn’t like that Harry was forced to repeat intimate details about his life in the BP, the exposure at least kept him safe.  Everyone would notice and raise suspicion if Harry suddenly disappeared and the BP knew that. It was short-term protection while the public was riled up. The protests outside the BP centers wouldn’t last forever but Louis hoped it would buy them enough time to figure something else out.    

“I haven’t been hard since we bonded,” Harry admitted softly with his eyes cast down to his lap where his hands were folded once the subject had been brought up.  

“It’s okay if you haven’t been in the mood or if you want to wait.  Just talk to me? Please?” 

Louis moved closer to him and placed a hand on his knee.  Even though they had bonded, they were still strangers in so many ways.  That detail was a huge strain on their relationship. Nothing about them was normal.  

“I never have because I’ve wanted to,” Harry started hesitantly, “It’s always been forced.  I mean, except with you and even then we were brought together in the same way. I would have been expected to still do it even if things had been different.  My body has always been prompted with hormones and inducers to make it work. It’s been a relief to not have a constant erection, to be able to ignore it for once.”  

“I get that.  I don’t want anything to ever be forced on you again.”  

  
  


It was a week later when the subject came up again.  Louis was already lying in bed when Harry came from the shower with just a towel around his waist.  He sat down on the edge of his side of the bed with his back to Louis and stared at the floor. 

Quiet for another minute, Harry finally spoke.  “I want to try it.” 

Harry turned and stretched out on his back next to Louis, turning to meet his eyes as he reached down and let his towel fall open. 

“No, not like this.  I don’t want it like this.”  

Louis shook his head and looked away from Harry’s nakedness.  It didn’t feel right to be prompted without passion. Louis didn’t want it to be like it had been in those clinic rooms.  

“I want you to try.  I wouldn’t work for me and I need you to try.”  

Harry’s voice was level and calm but the tremor betrayed him.  One glance and Louis knew that he was scared. 

Louis was just entering the awkward phase of pregnancy which didn’t make it easy for him to move around on the bed.  He was at least thankful that this pregnancy was going well with none of the complications his first that brought. He had Harry to thank for that.  

“Are you sure?” Louis rested his hand on Harry’s shower-warm thigh and waited for his nod.  

Louis was no stranger to Harry’s naked body.  They coexisted with little shame after what they’d been through.  They had not been this intimate, though, and Louis was taken back by what he saw up close.  

Harry was covered with scars and blemishes in places Louis couldn’t even imagine.  The skin was puckered around some of the worst and he was almost afraid to touch. 

“Does it hurt?” Louis asked as he ran a gentle fingertip over his skin.  

“No.  Not anymore.”  Harry shook his head and leaned back, closing his eyes.  

Louis took his soft dick gently into his hand and started to touch him like he would touch himself.  Harry seemed to be enjoying it, but after some time there was still no change. 

He seemed reluctant to talk about it and pushed Louis’ hand away when it was clear nothing was going to happen.  He wrapped the towel around himself and disappeared into the bathroom. Louis stayed awake as long as he could but eventually dozed off before Harry emerged.  The bed was still empty in the morning and Louis sighed. 

 

\---

 

It wouldn’t work.  Harry had tried everything and it still wouldn’t work.  He growled in anger and stopped just short of sweeping everything off the bathroom counter in a rage.

With Louis touching him it had felt like he was hard.  The sensation had been the same and Harry started to breathe a sigh of relief only to open his eyes to his limp dick still resting in his omega’s hand.  It was humiliating. 

It didn’t make sense that the one part of his body that had given him value was now useless when he wanted it for himself.  At the same time, it was the only thing that made sense as well. 

He hadn’t been conscious for his reanimation the second time around and it was clear there had been a number of things overlooked.  Walking for him wasn’t as smooth or easy as it once had been and several of his fingers failed to fully respond to his commands. 

There was a long scar, raised and pink, that followed the line of his neck where they had removed the hardware that had caused the damage to his nerves.  It made him wonder if they’d reanimated his his nervous system at all or if his natural healing process had taken over in its absence. 

He had his freedom but at what cost?  What good was he if he couldn’t even function?  

The urge to break something was strong, to smash his fist through the mirror over the sink or put a hole through the drywall.  He stopped himself from doing any of that but just barely. It was more than just frustration fueling the fire and there was little he could do to hold himself back.  

He gripped himself tightly and commanded his body to work until the pain forced him to stop and he broke down.  His life wasn’t supposed to end up like this. It wasn’t what he had always hoped for himself and he hadn’t been in control of any of it.  

How could he be Louis’ alpha when he was barely an alpha at all?  

 

\---

 

Louis let it be.  Days, weeks went by and Louis let it be.  

Heavily pregnant, he was thankful to have Harry’s help when it came to already having a young child in the house when the rest of his family was out.  Harry had flourished when it came to being a father and Louis loved to see their relationship grow. It filled Louis’ heart even more when their second child arrived and Harry was able to witness the birth for the first time.  They’d even made contact with a few more of Harry’s children even if the bonds between them weren’t as strong. 

His own relationship, however, was at a stand still.  

They shared Louis’ bed each night and Harry was sweet with his kisses and affection, but that was where it ended.  Harry refused to talk about it more after the night he had stormed off and Louis had all but given up. He’d resigned himself to a sexless life long before anything had happened with Harry and he tried to push himself back into that mindset.  It was just difficult when his mate’s scent and touch constantly surrounded him and made him yearn for more. 

Harris was walking now, Julie could sit up and Louis told himself every day that that was all he needed to be happy.  He could raise the children with Harry as friends but that’s how they needed to define it so he could officially move on.  

He could feel his heat cycle coming on and knew it wasn’t the best time to force Harry into the discussion.  Overly emotional, he masked his tears in the shower before joining Harry in bed and bit his tongue to wait until he was in a better mindset to approach the subject.  

 Louis woke in the hazy mindspace of sleep to movement that left him confused.  It took a moment to realize it was the mattress moving under him and then a moment more to feel the warm body against his back.  A nose nuzzled in against his neck and Louis could immediately sense that it was Harry. 

His confusion grew when he started to think clearly and could feel Harry rocking against his body.  His eyes flew open when he realized exactly  _ what  _ was rocking up against his backside and struggled to turn around in Harry’s arms.  

“Harry,” he whispered through the dark.  He received a groggy response and realized that Harry had been asleep as well.  “Harry, wake up.” 

“Mmm, you smell good,” Harry mumbled and pressed his face back in against Louis neck.  He pulled Louis closer and then froze the moment he felt the same thing Louis had. 

Louis pushed Harry onto his back and slipped his hand into his shorts to wrap around Harry’s erection.  They both gasped out and then Harry was pulling Louis’ mouth to his and everything was heated and fast. Louis could feel himself slicking up and shimmied out of his own shorts before straddling Harry’s waist.  

Sleep-warm and sensitive, they ground their hips together until they were both naked and Harry was guiding himself to Louis’ hole.  Louis sank down until he was seated and they both paused, breath heavy against each other’s lips. 

“Oh my god,” Harry’s voice sounded like he was on the verge of tears and Louis was just as emotional. 

It was slow and passionate from then on out as they both took their time to feel everything for the first time.  It was just them, their bond, their connection. There was no sterile room or fluorescent lights. No obligation or synthetic hormones.  

Louis gave into his tears when Harry’s knot finally locked inside him, Harry’s letting loose as well when they finally looked at each other.  

“I thought I couldn’t, I didn’t think—”

Louis shushed him with a hard kiss and cupped his face in his hands.  

Their tie lasted for a long time and Louis was thankful for it.  Harry opened up like floodgates bursting until they were both exhausted and the dim light of morning crept through the window.  

It had been ages since Louis had found Harry in a pile of snow but, for the first time, Louis finally had his Harry and he knew things were going to be alright.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR FOLLOWING THIS JOURNEY!


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